So for the past month I have been sitting at home desperately trying to frustrate myself looking for a new job. We won't go into my situation with my previous employer (spineless shit-gobblers they are), but I have found this new job-hunting extravaganza to be highly distressing and crime-spree inducing. Now a lot of people will tell you that there are no jobs out there, but that is complete and utter bullshit. There are plenty of jobs out there. The problem is that you aren't qualified for any of them. If you are one of the millions of Americans looking for a job these days, you know exactly what I'm talking about. This is the Baby Boomer's Recession. I say that because if you look at the job opportunities out there you realize that you'd have to be at least in your 40s to have the level of experience that companies are looking for these days. Today's employer wants 5-7 years ad agency experience, 3 years managing at least 15 employees, 3-6 years project management experience,7+ years of IT experience, ability to travel 90%, must be able to speak Japanese, must be proficient in Photoshop,Access, SPSS, Masters degree preferred, medical billing experience preferred, must have manufacturing experience, working knowledge of automobile sales required, only applicants with experience building time machines will be considered. Now besides the time machine experience, I mean who can't build one of those, name a mid 20s to mid 30s person you know who meets at least 3 of those requirements. After you name those persons, please email me their name and address so that I can kidnap them and assume their identity. I know that companies are trying to find one person to fill essentially 2 or 3 positions, but does anyone else find this kind of insane? Secondly, are employers seriously finding people to fill these jobs? Because once again, I'd like to kidnap them and assume their identity.
For all 9 people on planet Earth that give two shits about my blog 'Preserved Disorder', here is a little hostility to warm your tired hearts...
So I find out yesterday that they are going to rename the Sears Tower here in Hell's Septic Tank Chicago to the Willis Tower. WTF?! The name Willis Tower either sounds like they made 'Die Hard' into a porno or the Jefferson's neighbors really did move on up. Commerce is commerce and money makes the world go 'round, but shouldn't someone have something to say about this odd sounding move? I have two thoughts on this:
1) Is everything in Chi-City for sale? Marshal Field's...sold. The city's parking meters...sold. The Chicago Skyway...sold. Now they're selling the Sears Tower. Pretty soon they are going to start selling slaves again in Chicago. Seriously, it's going to get to a point when a lot of the famous sights in Chicago will be owned by New York or San Francisco. It's bad enough that half the people who tell you they are from Chicago haven't been inside the city in 2 or 3 years. Maybe the city should change it's nickname from the "Windy City" to "Clearance"?
2) The "today's my day off" type of anger that the city's resident's show in reaction to these events is kind of funny. I remember a couple of years ago when several iconic Chicago establishments like Fannie May and The Berghoff were going out of business and I thought people were going to lose their damn minds. Never mind the fact that if people would have actually spent their money in these establishments they would have never been in trouble to begin with. I only mention that because Chicagoans supposedly have a lot of city pride. They are proud of their city and proud of their city's unique and famous landmarks. So, where is the concern? Where is the city pride that everyone is so quick to champion as the spirit of Chicago? Must have been sold to L.A.
On another note...
Jim Cramer's ass is still sore after being royally reamed by Jon Stewart last evening. Before the economy started wiping it's ass with hopes and dreams, I was a fan of Jim Cramer. Not because I followed his financial tips (I didn't), but because he seemed to be really passionate about what he was selling on television and didn't mind making himself look like an adult with down syndrome to do so. That all changed about 5 months after the economy tanked (which I still say happend in early 2007).
Once the financial world pointed its collective finger at the general public and said "YOU fucked this up!" after years of making billions off of the money they knew we could never pay back on bad mortgages and bad investments, I've kinda had a problem with Mr. Cramer, his network, and anyone who works in a finance related field.
I've never liked Jon Stewart either. I've always said if he's going to be a comedian, then be one. If he wants to be a political commentator, then be one. I don't like how he tries to be both. I don't need some stroke-off joke-teller trying to be my guiding light through political turmoil and social issues.
All that being said...I urge everyone on the planet to take 22 minutes out of their bullshit activities today and watch this video. At the least you'll laugh through your tears.
This shell is ferocious. Some times it feels like the walls aren't just closing in, but they also have guns drawn and blazing torches. There is no up, There is no down, Left and right are interchangeable. There is only here. The floor becomes the wall, The wall becomes the ceiling, The ceiling becomes a pit of despair. There is no hope in these dark days
